he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
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