Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
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