mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
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