omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
Is this like a preordered booty call?
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
Randomize
