Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
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