i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
Randomize
