She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
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