Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
Dude, this chick just tossed my salad hard. All that I could picture was a dog trying to get the last of the peanut butter out of the jar of Jiff and trying not to think of how grotesque my last dump was.
Then she tried to kiss me and I wouldn't and she got pissed off and went to sleep. Then about an hour later, her kid called her. She went home and on the way out I told her to wash her mouth before she kissed her kid good night. Weird night..
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
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