hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
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