I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
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