hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Randomize
