apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
