I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
Randomize
