I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
can u get pink eye on your cock?
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
Randomize
