Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
I can't put those talents on a resume
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
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