just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
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