It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
