So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
Randomize
