i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
Randomize
