Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
