No awkward lesbian experiences without me
roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
Randomize
