If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
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