..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
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