How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
Randomize
