Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
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