oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
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