If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
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