If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
Randomize
