everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
Randomize
