I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
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