why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
Randomize