Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
Randomize
