Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
Randomize
