My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
Randomize
