fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
