I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize
