WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
Randomize
