was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Randomize
