I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
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