I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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