You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
cat food counts as protein by the way
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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