tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
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