My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
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