Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
Randomize
