Taylor Swift is so right about you.
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
