they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
