you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
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