Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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