omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
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