I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
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