He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
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