Soap is not a condiment
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
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