Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize
