I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
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