The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
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