After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
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