All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
I think your dad took our porno
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Randomize
