you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
Randomize
