she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
Randomize
