There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
Randomize
