I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
Randomize
