i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
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