xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
sex in a hospital.. check
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Randomize