He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
