so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
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